A Letter To My Younger Self – Part Two


On love:

1. Sex is not, and will never be, equal to love. He loves you? Are you sure? Despite what I

just told you earlier? Alright, fine. Then ask him to set a wedding date. If he loves you so much, then there shouldn’t be a problem with you two committing to spending the rest of your lives together. He ignored you when you mentioned it, didn’t he? Let me guess, he’s not ready. (If I rolled my eyes any further they’d be stuck in the back of my head)

2. No man will ever love you more than you love yourself. Oh wanasema uko na maringo? That sounds like a man who’s not interested in matching your love for yourself. Tell him to take a hike

(politely sweetheart, no need to start a brawl) Ringa mama! Your dad is THE KING. Romans 8:16-17 says you are a child of God. Let the man you choose to love believe the same thing. 3.  Choose to love! It’s a choice. If you’re into him because he’s tall and has that deep baritone and drives a Q7 then that’s nothing more than attraction. Take all that away, are you still into him? Choose to love a man who loves God. Stop chasing after these guys who are so self seeking they wouldn’t notice their own body odour if it was in a bottle right under their noses.

On spirituality:

1. Love God. I keep telling you that you’ll seek God. You will. I wish you’d do it right now and save me 3 of the last 6 years. That’s how much time you’ll spend looking for love before it hits you that the kind you’re looking for isn’t here. It’s in that Bible gathering dust on dad’s bookshelf.

2. Listen to Julia. Stop looking down your nose at her just because she has a kid. You and I both know the only reason you don’t have one is God’s grace (which right now you call luck). Julia has your best

interest at heart. Give her a minute. Go to that CU thing she’s invited you to and please don’t leave in 15 minutes like you did last time. Stick around. It’s the polite thing to at the very least.3.  Pray. I know you can’t figure out where to start so talk. That’s where you start. Go somewhere private and just start talking. It’ll seem really stupid the first few days but then it’ll be so addictive that you’ll make it a daily thing. And on days you can’t figure out what to say, God’ll hear you, even if you don’t  open your mouth.

4. Realise that Christians are human first. A certain pastor’s wife will betray you in such a way that you will be left wondering why that man chose her. Forgive her. She may be married to a pastor but she is a human being. And she won’t be the only one that will fail you. Rise above it and cling to your faith.

On courtesy:

1. It costs nothing to be polite. You don’t gain anything by being rude to the waiter and you don’t lose anything by being polite. So choose to be polite.

2. Don’t ignore people. Say hi to the security guard at the gate. Greet the hawker as you check out his wares (he’ll be quicker to warn you about kanjo instead of just taking off like popcorn from an uncovered sufuria). Greet the lady that checks your handbag at the supermarket. Smile at the girl at the cashier’s desk at the bank. People like it when you acknowledge their existence.

3. Hii tabia ya kuketi ukingoja kuwa served acha! Goodness! I cringe every time I think of you, seated, acting like the sun rises out your… Anyway, learn to serve. Kwani those serving you sio watu? Hata wewe inuka userve watu, eish!

4. Walk away from confrontation. Just because someone started something doesn’t mean you’re obligated to finish it. In fact, don’t finish it. Leave them stewing in it. That’s a greater victory with so

much less effort. Learn to rise above things that are said to you and about you. Words have power but only if you give them that power.

And honey, start learning to love yourself. These men you’re chasing after ati because you got your first boyfriend at 17 will never love you enough. You’ll be 27 and 5 years single ndio utajua the true meaning of loneliness. You need to love yourself and love God so much that you don’t go down that downward spiral that you’ve already embarked on. And when you slip up, forgive yourself.

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My Two Father’s

By Carol Kathombe I have two fathers. Now, don’t get all religious on me ati we all have our Father in heaven. I have that one too. But I have